That's How Much I love You
by demon-slave92
Summary: Since they were young Sesshomaru has loved Kagome and wished she felt the same but when he finds she likes Inuyasha his heart is crushed and he becomes the cold distant person he is.
1. Betrayl

Story: That's How Much I'm In Love with You.

Author: Demon-Slave92

Summary: Since they were young Sesshomaru has loved Kagome and wished she felt the same but when he finds she likes Inuyasha his heart is crushed and he becomes the cold distant person he is.

This first chapter takes place in 1998. The next one will skip 8 years to where they are all older, obviously. Every one is Human, demons aren't real. I just want to concentrate on Kagome and Sesshomaru and not a whole demon race or their powers; I don't like to make the characters like that. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru keep their appearances because they wouldn't be the same without them, except no dog ears or claws, Inuyasha wears shoes (finally, right?) and Sesshomaru's markings are gone.

"For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it.

For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it.

For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it."

_- Ivan __Panin__i__  
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Chapter One

Betrayal

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He knew it was wrong but he couldn't stop, his lips hovered over hers until they pressed down softly. She stood still and his heart almost broke right there. His hand found the back of her neck and gently tilted her head back; he needed to get a response, even if it was a smack to the face. He just needed to see her feelings for him. He felt it, his own tears as they poured out, colliding with their lips; he forced back a sob. Slowly he opened his eyes and pulled back from her lips, how could love hurt so much?

"Kagome, I love you," a nine year old Sesshomaru mumbled out.

"Sesshomaru, I…have to get home— thanks for having me over— tell Inuyasha I'm sorry about him being sick," her heart was beating fast and she felt like a jerk. She wished she could tell him she felt the same about him but she didn't like him like him. _He __was crying.__ I feel like an idiot__…__ He said he loved __me;__ he can'__t love me__ I'm only eight!_ Kagome walked out the front door and down the road to the shrine steps, pausing to look back on the Taisho house down the block she then ran up the stairs and straight into her bed room.

Sesshomaru looked at his feet as his tears continued to fall then suddenly his small hands hit the wall in front of him.

"Mother!" he yell cried and he turned from the wall and ran down stairs and into his mothers room. He found her sitting at her vanity, brushing her knee length silver hair. She turned to him in surprise and sadness when she saw his tears; she opened her arms and he ran into her arms and cried in her embrace.

"Mother, I did just as you had said! I told her how I felt and even kissed her like father does to you but she just stood there and then ran home! Oh, momma, what will I do? I had hoped she felt the same but she doesn't!" his tears seeped through his mother's silk blue robe but she just carried him to her bed and laid him down.

"Sesshomaru, my darling," here she paused as if words had failed her and perhaps they had.

"I never expected this to happen, how do you feel?" was that all she could muster? Sesshomaru looked up at her through tear drop after tear drop.

"I want to die," he turned his head away, pulled the sheets over his head and curled into a ball.

"Sesshomaru, I never want to hear you utter those words again, ever! Do you know how I would feel if you died? Think of your father and Inuyasha, he looks up to you so much; though I don't know why, you aren't very nice to him most times," she pulled the sheets from his head, he looked so sad.

"But Momma, only you love me. I want someone to love me as much as you do, maybe even more!"

"You are too young to talk of such love so hush," she looked at him and his eyes welled up with tears.

"Now even you don't love me!" he jumped from the bed and stormed into the hall, out the front door and ran to kagome's house. He stared mournfully at the large amount of stairs. He sighed and began to trek his way to the house. _Can't they get rid of these stupid stairs?_ Finally he reached the top and stopped for breath, he looked up at Kagome's window and saw the blinds down; he made his way over to the front door and rang the door bell.

When Mrs. Higurashi opened the door he quickly asked to see Kagome. She smiled her warm smile and for a moment he felt as though everything would work out fine, until Kagome came down stairs with her Mr. Beary teddy bear in her hands; Mrs. Higurashi left them alone after closing the front door.

Kagome lead him to her couch where she sat at the very edge while he sat in the middle. He felt like crying again, his lips were trembling with fear and the thought of rejection (again). They sat in silence for a few minutes, Kagome clutching her teddy as though he'd ripped it away from her any minute.

"I won't hurt you!" Sesshomaru yelled as his tears slid down his pale cheeks, Kagome refused to look at him.

"I just want a love like what my Momma and Father have," he slid to the left of the couch and sat closer to her.

"I don't love you Sesshomaru. I don't even know what love is! And besides…I think I kind of like someone," she looked up and saw the pain in his golden eyes; now she felt like crying.

"Who," his voice was harsh and barely recognized by Kagome.

"Inuyasha…" Sesshomaru felt dead inside; she liked someone one who was exactly like him, if only less mannered, more extroverted and had thicker hair but that was it! Tears, damn them to hell; he was sick of them already. Crying wasn't for him and neither was love.

"I just wanted to love you and for you to love me, too." He leaned over to her and placed a wet kiss on her cheeks.

"Bye Kagome." He said as he got up and walked to the door. Kagome dropped her teddy and went to hug him.

"Goodbye Sesshomaru. " If only she knew how long that good bye would last. How long his heart break would last and how it would affect her. She watched him walk down the shrine steps. He never looked back but she could still see the tears and the golden eyes that accused her of betrayal.

Sesshomaru walked inside his house and was greeted by the angry face of his father. He sighed and gave Sesshomaru a glance that all but screamed punishment. He walked into the dinning room, where they had their talks, knowing Sesshomaru was following him.

"Where were you?"

"Kagome's," his voice trembled and he felt the sting of tears again.

"You yelled at your mother before running away," Inutashio stated. Sesshomaru knew his dad very well, at least he would like to think so, and right now Inutashio was very mad.

"Father, I meant no disrespect…I told Kagome I loved her but then she ran home and I told momma about it and then she told me I didn't know what love was, I felt like she didn't love me either so I ran to talk to Kagome. Oh, father, I feel so weak!"

"Love sometimes takes everything out of us, that's why it's best to fall in love when you're older."

"Like you and momma?"

"Well, your mother and I weren't always in love. There was a time when we couldn't stand each other, your mother had enough and filed for a divorce. That's when I met Inuyasha's mother, then we had Inuyasha but she died a month after he was born due to complications during his birth. Then your mother and I tried to work things out and we did… Son, love is a two sided feeling," he picked up his son and put him over his shoulder. Sesshomaru cried for the rest of the evening, he even got to miss school the next day.

He spent his day reading books from his book shelf, he even went to check on Inuyasha, if only a bit begrudgingly. He stayed in Inuyasha's room for about half an hour, he sat in the corner on the floor. He watched Inuyasha sleep with envy, someone loved him. He would continue to envy his younger half brother for years to come, eight to be exact.

He would close himself off from others, especially Kagome and Inuyasha, the two people that hurt him the most. Sesshomaru looked at the floor, he was crying again. He wiped his tears away and walked from Inuyasha's room to his own.

"I don't care about her, not any more."

He never saw Inuyasha lift his head up and watch him leave. Though for years to come Inuyasha would wonder what his brother was talking about and would see the image of Sesshomaru's tears hitting the floor in groups of three.

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A/N: I'll need some advice, tell me what you like, don't like. I know Sesshomaru is kind of out of character but he's nine. And about his cursing, a few words he learned courtesy of his dad. Sesshomaru also says to his mother, "you're the only one that loves me." He doesn't see his dad too often or as much as he'd like but he sees his mother and know by being there for him she loves him, in his mind she's the only one that loves him. In other words he's a momma's boy.

Please review!


	2. It's Personal

A/N: Thanks for everyone who reviewed. It means a lot that you review. And thanks for all the praises, they really boost my ego!

"The quarrels of lovers are like summer storms. Everything is more beautiful when they have passed."

—**Suzanne Necker center**

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He had become something akin to evil; no longer did he laugh and play with us. He tended to like sitting off by himself staring into space, reading a book, anything but joining us. He acted as if we didn't exist, he still does but I have memories of us, we hung out, we played; it's what brothers are suppose to do.

I remember the day when we stopped being just brothers and we became b half /b brothers. How could he not understand how it hurt that he treated me like a stranger? I, his own brother! So we have different mothers? His mother treated me just as I know my real mother would treat me.

I'm tried of hearing:

"Move it half wit." I had been blocking his way to the refrigerator.

"What the hell are you looking at?" I had been staring off into space.

"I hate you."

I was only thirteen, I cried. Father punished Sesshomaru when I explain what had happened; Sesshomaru was grounded for a week and had to apologize, I never did get that apology. I never understood why, I knew he was human; he had to realize it hurt!

I remember when I was eight and he nine, I had been sick and he sat in my room reading a book. I wake up from my fever induced nap to see my brother crying, he quickly left after realizing he had been crying. I've always wondered why he was in my room, why he was crying but apart of me, even now wanted to believe he was checking to make sure I was ok, I guess I'll always look up to my big brother.

* * *

I pulled away from her; I never spoke to her unless I had to. When she came over to visit Inuyasha I was never in sight, I never said hi when we walked pass each other in school. I couldn't bear what had happened to us only eight years ago; my heart's first and last heart break.

I made new friends; I hung out with only my friends. I alienated my brother and his friends. I know what I was doing to my brother was mean and childish, I know he couldn't control Kagome's feeling but I couldn't help blaming them both, Inuyasha a bit more than her I guess.

I still love her to some extent I guess but I couldn't face her, the humiliation was too unthinkable. I remember I cried every day for a week straight. I always wondered where we would be if I had never told her my feelings, I still think I should have kept my mouth shut.

* * *

It's been so long, too long. It's been eight years since I've had an actual conversation with Sesshomaru. I know what I did to him was cruel but I was eight! I know he was hurt but what was an eight year old suppose to do? I didn't understand love and I'm sure he didn't either.

After that day we rarely spoke, it filled me with an inexpressible sadness and I thought maybe I did like him and I had lost my chance but then he became a jerk, he always picked on Inuyasha and myself sometimes, maybe he was just hurt but I didn't understand how he could be so cruel to his own brother, he made me sick after a while. I couldn't stand to be near him for too long but there are moments when I'd look at him and all I'd feel was pity but not now.

"Leave him alone!" I yelled to Sesshomaru as I made my way down the street to our bus stop, he'd been picking on Inuyasha again.

"Kagome stay out of this!" Inuyasha yelled as I made my way over.

"Yes, it would due will if you listened to your boy friend," Sesshomaru always did that, whenever he was forced to talk to me he'd always tell me to go look for my boy friend, tell your boy friend to shut up, blah, blah, blah! I wish he understood!

"Oh, shut up, Sesshomaru!" I yelled and we stood in silence until the bus pulled up. Inuyasha and I got on but Sesshomaru went to his car and drove around the school bus. Ever since Sesshomaru got his license over the summer he was suppose to drive Inuyasha to school but he refused. As punishment his father had him make sure Inuyasha got on the bus. I guess to Mr. Taisho that was the same as Sesshomaru driving Inuyasha to school.

Inuyasha and I got off the bus when it reached school, we saw Sesshomaru and his friends outside talking, I kept watching until Sesshomaru looked over and noticed me, and he turned back to his conversation. Asshole!

I can't believe after eight years our friendships have been reduced to this. Inuyasha doesn't say anything but I can tell his brother's way of affection hurts his feelings but being Inuyasha he doesn't say anything and plays it off. Both brothers are idiots at times.

We kept walking until we had to separate to go to our lockers. I took some books out of my locker and was just about ready to close it when I heard my name. I turned to find Sesshomaru's friends looking at me, I raised an eye brow in a very Sesshomaru fashion; they laughed.

"Whatever," I mumbled, slamming my locker and breezed past them. This was what I didn't understand: He left use for them! We were friends first; I even thought when we got older we'd all live right next door, each with our own little families, cute babies who grew up together, went to school together; like us! But then he ditched us and things were never the same. Whenever we hung out with Inuyasha Sesshomaru would be off somewhere, and birthday parties were the most awkward things in the universe: To invite Sesshomaru or not to invite Sesshomaru?

Either way he never showed up, though on my birthday's I did get his gifts. He's never attended a party where I was at, unless he was forced, he's never said a word if I join his family for dinner, when I was younger I use to cry over it and then I'd remember i his /i golden eyes filled with hurt and tears. I thought many a times about asking him to hang out but the new him scared me half to death.

I remember the day he told me he loved me; I'll never forget the hurt in his eyes. He must have felt so horrible, I know that's how I felt when I told Inuyasha how I felt about him; he didn't feel the same. That's why it hurts a little when Sesshomaru calls me Inuyasha's girl friend; he knew how much I had wanted that to be true but what he doesn't know is I've been over Inuyasha for two years!

A crazy idea began to form in my head, maybe I should confront him? It's been about eight years so I guess there are things that we need to talk about, I just wish I hadn't waited eight years. This was going to be a very awkward conversation, at least for me.

For the rest of the day Kagome had her head in the clouds, searching for a way to talk to Sesshomaru; he was almost always with his friends and she really didn't feel up to his friends ease dropping. Then suddenly the bell to end school was ringing and she was walking out the front doors, she hadn't absorbed anything all day.

She waited outside by the steps for her friends to come out. After a minute she kept looking around wondering where they were when she saw Sesshomaru and another girl saying goodbye, he gave her a peck on the lips before she smiled and walked onto her bus. Something parallel to anger filled her from top to bottom, her face twisted viciously into a repulsive sneer for a moment before she realized what had happened and she tried to remain composed.

What was that feeling? That hurt that filled her without reason? Sesshomaru did not belong to her, he was free as she was free but that didn't stop the fast pace of her heart which increased more as he glanced her way. She held his gaze before he turned away, maybe this was her moment; he was alone and besides from the sick feeling in her chest the moment was right.

She stood and fast walked to his side, he was surprised. He gave her his usual eye brow raise and she ignored it completely. She stood there for a second not sure what to say.

"Need something?" he asked, he was playing with his bangs in an almost bored fashion, as if saying she could lose his attention any moment due to the fact that he may have spilt ends.

"Yes," she took a deep breath trying to calm her heart's nervousness. What the hell was this?

"I think I've put this off for too long, eight years to be exact," at this Sesshomaru began to get nervous, he began to fidget and soon his hands couldn't stay in one area for too long.

"I don't understand you, I never have. One minute we're playing red light green light the next you're confessing your love and to make it worst when I turn you down you treat your friends like crap. Did you know every time I saw you I felt terrible? Did you know I even cried because of the way you treated me, Inuyasha, Sango, and Miroku?—" she was interrupted.

"You want to talk about pain, anger, feelings? Understand how I felt! I was nine and I was confessing my love for you! It took me weeks to figure out how to tell you, my mother helped me with what to say and how to say it but you didn't feel the same. I cried for a week, I missed school the next day because I couldn't stop crying! And you what hurt the most? You preferred my own brother, as if there was something wrong with me! I felt betrayed by you and my brother! You want to talk about pain and torment? Look back on the last eight years Kagome! I've had to live with eight years of night mares so you know what, fuck off!" and he stormed off towards his car leaving a teary Kagome behind and some fellow students who had watched on in mild interest.

Kagome ran onto her bus without waiting for her friends, she took her seat and when Inuyasha sat next to her she refused to look at him; he might have seen the glassy look in her eyes, the tears that threaten to spill like run off from a flood, and the small blush forming on her cheeks. When she got home she jumped off the bus and glanced briefly down the block looking for Sesshomaru's sleek black car; she didn't find it and kept walking.

Her tears came down when she was locked in the solitude of her bedroom. Did he really think she hadn't thought about his feelings in eight years? Was he so blinded by his hurt that he couldn't see that? She didn't know what to do with herself. The tears poured out, hot, salty and carrying a burden from eight years in the past, what was she expected to do?

She ran out of her room, out of the house and down the shrine steps and marched to the Taisho's house. She reached in time to see Sesshomaru drive up the drive way, he walked over to the passenger side and that girl he was kissing at school stepped out ever so gracefully.

_What has he done to me!_ Kagome thought as the burning in her chest came back. They walked into the house and Sesshomaru pretended not to notice her standing on his porch, the girl with him stared at her as if asking her silently if she was joining them.

It never occurred to Kagome that Sesshomaru might not be a virgin; you could say she thought because of his feelings for her he'd save himself or something like that plus he rarely had a girl friend. He was not the play boy type, though he did look it, he was just selective she guessed. She walked in and went straight to Inuyasha's room, hopefully Kikyou wasn't over. Though Kagome and her cousin were friends today she didn't want to be a third wheel.

* * *

_How dare her!_ He thought as he kissed Samantha, a girl from his grade. She was nice enough, smart as hell and she was definitely cute. Her curly blond hair always neat, her nails always manicured, longest legs, she was a pretty good kisser too. His thoughts drifted back to Kagome, the first actual conversation they had was a fight, his heart hurt to think about it.

The kiss became harder, almost desperate. His hands roamed, hers did too; this was going to be the moment. He was about to be a virgin no more, it wasn't that he was in love with Sam but more of the fact that he couldn't go to college a virgin. He hated his silence when the guys talked about their encounters, hated how he wanted his first time to be with Kagome, he also really hated thinking about Kagome!

Sam's hands reached to lift his shirt; his muscles bulged and tensed at her touch. He paused for a moment, was that a good thing? His hands slid into her shirt and he rubbed her stomach with his thumbs, she straddled his legs and lifted her shirt over her head. He began to kiss her stomach and flipped her onto his bed, as he stood her admired her body.

Sex, that word was a way to show someone your feelings for them whether it is frustration or love. He didn't feel either emotion for Samantha at the moment. He walked to the side of the bed and picked up his shirt, stuffing it over his head he made his way to the door.

"I should get you home, it's almost six," she stared at him in silent question. Then as if this kind of thing happened to her everyday she began to get dressed. As she slid on her wedged sandals he left to wait for her by his car. He was met with Kagome down the hall, perhaps she had heard? A part of him wishes she had heard the moans, the squeaks in the bed, the shifting of clothes; Just to hurt her.

"Get the fuck out," he said as he made his way down the stairs, she followed him.

"Oh fuck you Sesshomaru! I'm tried of being sorry! Don't give a shit if you believe I'm sorry, it's not like I have a time machine because if I did we'd still be friends! If anything it's your entire fault this happened!" she yelled as they reached outside.

"Really, It's my fault you were a bitch at eight and still are?" he swiveled and faced her; her face was filled with sadness and rage.

"It's your fault because you're the fucking idiot that fell in love at nine! You chose not to talk to me, not the other way around."

"Don't pin this shit on me! You're the one who loved my brother; do you know how I felt? I wanted to die! I just couldn't understand why you didn't love me, why Inuyasha when we were practically the same person?" and he felt his tears fall, after eight years of holding them in they broke free.

"You don't seem to realize I was eight years old. I didn't know what I wanted, I still don't and won't for a long time."

"Then nothings changed; I still love you, you probably don't even like me and there's all these things left unsaid,"

"Then why not say them for once!" she was getting tried of not talking to him, being afraid to look at him, walk next to him; life was too short.

"Fine!" he walked over to his car and got in, he put his head through the window and yelled for her to get in, she did without question.

Samantha opened the front door just in time to see them reverse down the drive way and down the street. She cursed and slammed the door on her way out, took out her cell phone and waited as it rang.

"Hey mom, can you pick me up?"

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An: It was hard to write this chapter. I hope you like it. In this chapter I got into some people's heads, something I won't do too often. I wanted to get in some feelings of the other characters, what do you guys think? I don't like this chapter too much. Oh, I'm not going to make any girl Sesshomaru sees into a total slut because I don't think Sesshomaru, high and mighty would want a girl like that nor would he tolerate her in his presence. That's what I don't get about most stories, they make other girls except Kagome stupid and weak and women aren't like that, at least not the ones that I know.

Please review!


	3. Missing You

Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

- Nepalese Tantra

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It was like she was seeing for the first time! A smile was permanently attached to her lips, her mind faded in and out of focus; it seemed as if nothing really mattered anymore. She walked to her second period class with such zealous that the kids beside her envied her; who liked math at eight in the morning? Someone who had obviously done their homework.

It wasn't that she had done her homework, quite the contrary; she'd been busy most of last night with Sesshomaru but what's two points off her average compared to talking to Sesshomaru the whole night? She smiled as memories from the night before played in her mind, never before had talking made her so happy. They spent the whole night in her room talking about their past and things they both missed over the years.

_  
Sesshomaru drove to the nearest restaurant, five minutes away by car. The ride was surprisingly silent; he almost wished Kagome had continued to yell, anything to fill the void that shouldn't be there but she just continued to stare out the passenger window. He made a left turn and went into the Friendly's drive way, slid out of the drivers seat, then locked the doors when Kagome pushed her door shut._

_He felt awkward, what a weird feeling; it clouded his mind until all he could image was him and Kagome sitting in a booth not talking. They'd sit for a while and then leave, never to speak to each other. He came from his clouded mind and opened the door for Kagome, she stepped in without a word, he tried to convince himself she was just as nervous as he. They walked to the last booth in the back and sat down, Kagome's hands shook as she tapped her nails on the hard table surface._

_"I had a birthday party here once, it was a mess," she looked up at him, as though asking permission to continue._

_"When?" he knew he sounded eager but hell; anything was better than not talking!_

_"I remember it had been my ninth birthday and I was so excited, I had woken up so early. I got dressed and I followed my mom everywhere! At one point she said to me 'Kagome, I need some space' she then takes me into her arms and carried me around almost the whole day! I still remember the flavor of the cake, the Hello Kitty decorations, Inuyasha hated it! I think he started to cry when his cake had Hello Kitty's face on it." Kagome then looks over at him and smiles._

_"You didn't come, I remember my mom telling me you had the Flu and you were too sick to get out of bed. So I saved you a peace of cake and I was going to give it to you in school the next day but then I saw you making fun of Inuyasha; the cake stayed in my cubby for three weeks before the teacher made me throw it out, smelled like shit," she let out a small laugh and sighed thoughtfully at the table._

_"You don't understand what it was like, having a reminder around; I just wanted to get away from him... and you. I know it's petty to hold onto such grudges after eight years but you don't realize how much it hurt to love you," he reached over and held her hands in his._

_"You really were my first love; you could even say my only love. I wanted to forgive you but it was so hard and then after a while it began to feel so good to hate you. I know it's mean but that's how I felt, I loved to hate you, and I had hoped maybe if I put you and Inuyasha through hell you'd know how I felt–I guess you could say I was also hoping you'd stop being his friend."_

_"I wish you had understood when we were younger that I didn't know what I wanted! I changed my mind like I change Television channels. I had hoped we could put this behind us and maybe start over," she looked hopeful._

_"I don't think that would be healthy, I mean I have committed eight years of my life to hating you and my brother, what would people say if I started hanging with you guys? Plus I'm pretty sure Inuyasha would rather have me dead," Sesshomaru gazed upon her already hoping to put this behind him._

_"I'm not asking you to hang with Inuyasha—"_

_"Want to get out of here?" he interrupted, the words rolling off his lips effortlessly._

_"We could grab a bite to eat, I'm in the mood for pure junk food, you?" Sesshomaru cocked his head to the side and suddenly Kagome had never felt hunger such as this. The feeling burned from her stomach and ate its way toward her throat._

_"I could eat a horse," she said gleefully. Kagome paused for a moment and was surprised with herself, mood swings much? They stood and made their way to the exit and slid into the car, heading for the nearest grocery store. They pulled into the parking lot and Kagome ran to get a shopping cart, standing for a minute to wait for Sesshomaru who slowly made his way over towards her._

_Kagome couldn't help but admire the way his hips swayed when he walked and couldn't help wishing she could catch a look at his butt; there was nothing wrong with looking! His hair flowed smoothly down his shoulders and she couldn't help but be envious; the boy had damn good genes. He got his mothers face and lovely hair and everything else belonged to Inutashio, except maybe Sesshomaru's personality._

_Sesshomaru got the good end of his gene pool, it wasn't that Inuyasha was ugly; far from it. It was just Sesshomaru had "it", a quality that every body wanted but they had no idea what it was, maybe it was his view on the world; he did what he felt like and the only persons who could effect his decisions were his mother an father._

_He stood beside her and took control of the shopping cart and strolled into the supermarket as though he was king, maybe that's what everyone was after, the way he did things. He took charge and fucks to anyone who didn't like it._

_Kagome walked behind him as they walked through the many aisles, stopping when either one liked anything. They sometimes grabbed things by random; cereal, fruits, bread, lettuce, tomato, eggs, mayonnaise, three different types of mustard, many different types of bagels, cream cheese, they went to every aisle and then made their way to the check out line._

_"Want to eat all this at my house? I don't think Inuyasha will understand us being— well you know," damn. Was she blushing? Just from using a two letter word? It wasn't like there was an "us" but the blush that sprung upon her cheeks said different._

_Sesshomaru, concentrating on unloading the cart nodded without looking up. Kagome quickly began to help him, this wasn't exactly how she's planned talking to him but at least they both weren't in tears; he seemed to have gotten over that laps in character, too bad; he was kind of cute when he cried. Kagome scolded herself silently, how heartless could she get? She wanted to see him cry because of the way his lips fell into an almost sensual pout, and the way his eyes darkened under the microscope of his tears._

_"That'll be eighty four twenty six, cash or credit?"_

_"Cash."_

_"Credit," Kagome glanced Sesshomaru's way as he flipped opened his wallet and placed a Visa in the card swipe. Kagome kept quiet, since when did Inuyasha's father entrust his rebel kids with credit cards? Inuyasha didn't have a credit card but if he did he's been holding out and letting everyone but his mother pay for his Ramen; bum. If he had a credit card she's going to kill him!_

_They watched as the cashier put their groceries into bags, Sesshomaru not even paying attention. Kagome loaded the food into the cart and pushed it to the car and waited for Sesshomaru to open the trunk. The drive to Kagome's house was silent and she wondered what was running through his mind. They pulled up to the shrine steps and Sesshomaru shifted to face her._

_"Do you have an elevator or something?" upon Kagome's confused look he continued._

_"Well how do you get heavy stuff up the steps?"_

_"You never knew we had a drive way?"_

_"You did?"_

_"Just go around the corner and make a left, it's like a little hill," he did as instructed and was surprised to see a dirt hill leading up to the back of the shrine._

_"I forgot how big your backyard was," he muttered as he parked the car a few paces away from the back door. Kagome didn't say anything and started unloading the food from the trunk into the kitchen. She waited for Sesshomaru to finish with the last of the bags and began to sort everything out._

_"you can watch TV if you want," she called over her shoulder to Sesshomaru and was surprised to see him next to her trying to find which cabinet the cereal went in._

_"Its fine." and he went back to unpacking. The air was quiet and Kagome was racking her brain for a topic, she picked to talk about that girl at his house before._

_"So—that girl, she seemed nice, (here she gave a small laugh and continued) loved her hair, I wonder where she gets it done." She didn't give two shits about that girl's hair, looked like extensions anyways but if that's what he was into it was his business._

_"I'll have to ask her when I see her," he paused and surveyed the kitchen, not finding any more food needing to be unpacked he sat on the island located in the middle of her kitchen._

_"What do you want to eat?" he didn't want to talk about Sam and he was sure he wouldn't see her for a while, not unless she liked being rejected. He found her unappetizing, she may be smart and cute to look at but she wasn't his type. As of two hours ago his type had been specified down to Kagome Higurashi, no one else._

_"Um, let's see. Mac and cheese, Ramen, Pancakes?" here his head snapped in her direction._

_"Are you serious? Pancakes? At this time of night?" she shrugged her shoulders and moved to her refrigerator grabbing four eggs, she then when through her cabinets and four the pancake mix and sent him a smile while turning to the frying pan, a bowl and a whisk. She couldn't be serious._

_But she continued first cracking the eggs adding black pepper and a small palm full of salt and whisked it into pure liquid. She looked at him expectantly and he jumped down and went for the pancake mix with a sigh. They worked in silence as Kagome fried the eggs and Sesshomaru concentrated on making the batter lump free. He turned and watched as she lit the stove and oiled the pan, slowly pouring the eggs in as the pan got hot._

_Minutes later two plates of eggs were placed on the counter and she quickly washed the pan and placed it on the fire, she looked expectantly at him, he handed her the batter but she shook her head and sat in a chair and watched him._

_"Do you want your house to burn down?"_

_"It won't," and he sensed there was a threat laced into her words. He sighed and placed small amounts of the batter onto the pan and as they rose he used the spatula to lift them to check if they were golden brown yet, Kagome watched him in interest._

_Soon they ascended the stairs and walked into her bedroom and it was like going back in time, most of her bedroom was lined with pictures of her and her friends, baby pictures, beach pictures, Halloween, Christmas, New Years, Birthdays and his heart ached as he saw himself upon the walls. It had been his seventh birthday and he and Kagome were jumping in a moon bounce by themselves; they being the only ones not wanting cake yet. He adjusted his gaze and waited for Kagome to tell him where to sit._

_"Anywhere's fine," and she sat on the edge of her bed. Sesshomaru opted her computer chair, sitting lotus style while picking up his fork. Now what? They were supposed to be talking but Sesshomaru couldn't get away from the guilty feeling in his heart, he's abandoned everything. He wished he could go back in time and shake him for his stupidity, how did shunning Kagome for eight years make his life better? He had more enemies than friends, more fan girls than girl friends; he's never even had sex for God's sake! Not that staying friends with Kagome would have affected that but come on, he probably would have gotten over Kagome and done "it" by now._

_"Kagome, I want to apologize for calling you a bitch earlier, I was speaking out of anger." She looked up and smiled, licking away the maple syrup that coated her lips she spoke._

_"I know," but how could she possible even began to know the hate he had felt for her? Or was it sadness disguised by his heart? he continued to eat his eggs, determined not to think upon that subject now._

_"How is it you can't even make pancakes, Sesshomaru?" Kagome brought him the present._

_"Huh?" he looked at her quizzically._

_"The pancakes have no taste, even with loads of maple syrup," she teased him for his lack of cooking skills._

_"It's not my fault, you must of bought low fat pancake mix," he turned his head down to the pancakes._

_"plus they can't taste that bad!" he took a big bite and chewed only to be left wishing he'd taken her word for, he mostly tasted syrup. He put his plate down and stood up._

_"it's getting late, I should be getting home," he made his way to the door but Kagome hopped off her bed and took his hand in hers._

_"No, stay, we can have Ramen instead," she looked so cute and if he thought about it hard he really didn't want to be alone. He nodded his head and followed her down to the kitchen._

_"Chicken, beef, or shrimp?" she asked as she readied the tea pot._

_"Shrimp, thanks." As the water boiled they sat at the kitchen table. Sesshomaru asked about her mother and grandfather, she looked surprised._

_"It's not like you were erased from my memory," he told her._

_"No, just suppressed I guess," that hurt but he wasn't sure who it hurt more, him or her. He leaned across the table and took one of her hands in his; her thumb ran the length between his thumb and index finger._

_"If it's of any consequence, I thought about you all the time," he looked at their joined hands and shifted at the silence that followed._

_"It's a start. You and I will be making up for eight years lost buddy, so you better be nice to me or I wont get you a birthday present," she smiled at him as he lifted his head up to smile back, the kettle sounded off on the stove and Kagome rushed to get it._

_Soon they were back in Kagome's room, Kagome explain the story behind every picture. He had to admit as nice as it was to know what he'd missed out on he was getting bored, her walls were filled with pictures of herself, Sango, Miroku, and his little brother. He wished to see more pictures of himself and Kagome; he slurped his Ramen, forgetting his etiquette._

_"Ramen is always the safe choice among foods," Kagome said between bites._

_"Though not the healthiest, it's filled with fat," she glared at him._

_"Are you saying I need to watch my figure?" he shook his head._

_"More than enough guys do that for you," she didn't know what to say here so she choose to ignore it._

_"I meant nothing by it, just saying that although it is good, there are healthier choices, like anything from Tropical Smoothies," the local health food store had opened last year and had become a hang out for some adults and for students all over, and the food was healthy and delicious._

_"I guess," was her response._

_"We should go there sometime next week, I find the wraps there taste better with company," Sesshomaru had flirted before but never this openly and never with a friend. He could almost imagine himself blushing. Kagome paused as her fork made it's way to her lips, if she crossed her eyes enough she could see the redness of her nose as a blush over took most of her face._

_"Ok, maybe Sango and Miroku could come too," fuck! She hadn't meant to say that but she had panicked, she'd never actually been on a real date before, she and Sango had gone on a double date, Sango with Miroku and her with Hojo but they had arrived to the movies late and couldn't find the boys so they sat in the front row and didn't see the boys until the movie ended, she wouldn't count that as a first date!_

_Sesshomaru faltered; no way was he hanging out with Sango and Miroku. He couldn't stand it if he had to endure a whole afternoon of Miroku feeling up Sango while she smacked him in anger, knowing full well she liked every bit of attention Miroku gave her._

_"I don't think they will be as forgiving as you Kagome," who cares if they did or didn't? Not him. He definitely hadn't missed them too much, they had been friends at a young age but it really didn't matter to him if they wanted his friendship or not. He smiled, he was feeling normal already. All day he's been acting out of character and some people had taken notice, Sam being one of them._

_"I guess you're right, maybe some other time. Anyways I'm really interested in knowing what has been happening with you, whenever I see you in school you're surrounded by your friends," she looked pointedly away, she didn't want to talk about his friends that had helped him in shunning her._

_"Was it love at first sight?" she couldn't help it, the question had been on her tongue for years, she just had to get the answer!_

_He looked at her puzzled, what was love? Then his eyes widened and he bit his bottom lip, what was he to say? He really didn't remember how he fell in love with her, he just remembered hopping onto his mother bed, rolling all the way to the fluffy pillows, sitting up and asking his mom how to get Kagome's hand in marriage._

_This lead to the longest lecture of his life, a four hour speech on why he couldn't get married at nine, what it meant to be married, and babies. His mom had made him fear babies; she described the screaming, the tantrums, the spilled food, and the bite marks they seem to leave on everything while they are teething._

_"But what do babies have to do with getting married mama?" he questioned, his mom seemed to know everything so she must know this._

_"Well—when you get married a stork comes and—"_

_"Does it eat the baby?"_

_"Sesshomaru it's rude to interrupt."_

_"Sorry mama," he waited for her to continue._

_"—leaves a baby at the hospital where nurses take care of the them until someone who wants a baby could come and get one," she patted her sons head awkwardly, she'd tell him the truth when he was older; like twenty._

_"So if you left me at a hospital someone could just walk in and take me?"_

_"You're not a baby, plus I would never leave you!" she then proceeded to wrap her slender arms around his small body, throwing him slowly into the air as he squealed in delight._

_"I don't know, I guess I've repressed it so much I've forgotten the feeling," he smiled at her when he saw her crestfallen face._

_"Kagome if I didn't know any better I've say you enjoyed having a secret admirer," he grinned up at her. She smiled and rubbed the back of her neck._

_"When I was younger it was kind of nice to know you hadn't always been so cold towards me, I guess I made you this way, huh?" She slipped onto the floor next to the computer he sat on; he sat down next to her, his head lolling back on her bed._

_"I made myself this way and for years it has been me, I'm quite use to it. I'm not saying I'm a fake, in fact I enjoy honesty; no matter what. The ways of the warrior my father once told me," he has the sudden urge to hold her hand. How was it possible he was thinking such innocent thoughts when not even five hours before he had been sported a somewhat hard dick? It seemed Kagome had lulled him into a comfort zone, he was so at peace; he felt drugged and he quite liked it._

_"You still bite your nails," he said as he lifted and examined her left hand, turning it every which way he felt until he finally let it rest back on her pink carpet, his larger hand still rested over it. It felt quite nice not to worry about what his friends thought or what her friends thought, a large smile found its way onto his face and his head continued to lull on Kagome's bed._

_"Do you have drugs wafting through the air? I feel so happy,"_

_"Is that such a bad thing?"_

_"Yes. Especially when I feel like I'm about to fall asleep," he rolled his head to face her._

_"It's just some incense, coco mango. Grandpa generally buys bundles," She yawned silently then turned her head to him, his eyes were closed and he was breathing slowing._

_"My limbs feel so heavy, I can barely keep my eyes open," he lifted his head painstakingly slow and stood up only to fall back on Kagome's bed, inching under the covers he promptly laid his head on a pillow curled into a ball._

_"Hey! Where am I supposed to sleep?" Kagome asked in a loud whisper while raising to stand up. Sesshomaru did not answer her but she knew he couldn't have fallen asleep that fast!_

_"There's room for both of us," he yawned ever so slightly. She huffed and turned away from him but the thought of sleep was too good and he was right, there was room albeit they'd be very close together but somehow Kagome knew she wouldn't have any objections. She walked over to her door and looked it with a loud click, then went to set her alarm._

_She climbed over Sesshomaru and went under the sheet, falling asleep almost immediately. What seemed liked an hour later Kagome's alarm was going off with an annoyingly loud beep that would have continued had Sesshomaru not smack it off the end table sending it to the floor where it ceased all action, Sesshomaru rolled over and continued to sleep. Soon they were awakened by a soft voice followed by a firm knock._

_"Kagome, it's time to get up for school," Sesshomaru shook Kagome awake so she could answer her mom._

_"Ok mom!" she yawned and laid back down, until she noticed Sesshomaru's face before hers. A blush spread onto her cheeks and he smiled suggestively but flicked her nose while she was still opened mouth. Another knock came at the door._

_"Kagome you only have thirty minutes to get ready before the bus comes!"_

_"Ok mom thanks!" and she jumped out of bed and searched her room quickly for clothes to wear and once she found them she wait expectantly for Sesshomaru._

_"I have a car," was all he said and rolled over. She tapped her foot impatiently_

_"Well I don't now get out!"_

_"Cold much?" she growled at him._

_"Alright!" He got up and walked to her, he paused before leaning down he and kissing her cheek._

_"Thanks for letting me stay, if you had let me stay longer I would have kissed you on the lips," he winked and raised his eyebrow suggestively._

_"Whatever man whore," she grumbled as she walked to the bathroom.  
_

* * *

An: Sorry it's been so long; writers block is a bitch. I wrote bits of this every day and I've just finished. It's almost time fore school, for some of us school has already started. But that means good news for people who like this story; I write more during the school year than I do in summer! So celebrate by Reviewing! Sesshomaru is a bit weird at the end and beginning but I wanted him to be a little bit playful, I hear dogs are very playful in the morning:D 

**Review!**


	4. To Be The Man

"Love is like war,  
Easy to begin but hard to end.  
by Anonymous "

_**To Be The Man**_

* * *

"Hey, at least she knows what to do when I skeet skeet," a round of laughter went through the guys standing by their lockers. 

"So I told her, baby work it out. She looks at me and says 'lick or suck'. I like fell in love with this girl. She's like all over me and when I whip my shit out she's stunned," Bankotsu was telling the guys another one of his escapades and everyone within ear shot was listening.

"She asks me what I feed it, 'pussy' was all I said and I took her from behind," more laughter followed.

"Sesshomaru, where were you yesterday? I saw you with Sam, finally got some?" Hiten asked as they left their lockers and made their way to the lunch room.

"Wasn't my type, plus Kagome came over looking for Inuyasha, kind of ruined the mood," Sesshomaru had decided to tell them a half truth. He wouldn't tell them what happened between himself and Kagome but he wasn't going to straight out lie.

"Damn! Sam is hot, how can she not be your type?" Jakotsu asked as everyone slipped into each of their seats at their regular table.

"I have a new object of my affections." He left no more room for conversation on the topic but they still persisted.

"Who?"

Sesshomaru didn't answer, instead he chose to take out his wallet and find his lunch money.

"Well at least tell us if Sam is on the market," Bankotsu said. Sesshomaru shrugs his shoulder, telling them he didn't care. Bankotsu stood up, smoothed down his shirt and walked to the other end of the cafeteria and shouted:

"Hey Sam!" Sesshomaru shook his head and stood up, the boys stood too.

"What's for lunch?" Sesshomaru asked as they made their way outside the cafeteria and towards the lunch line.

"No clue." They stood in line and waited as the line got shorter; Bankotsu joined the line moments later, smirking in triumph. Damn, Sam must be easier than they thought.

"Back so soon?" Hiten asked leaning against the wall.

"Yes and with jolly news, at least jolly for our man Sesshomaru. It looks like your seventeen year sex hiatus is over my man; Sam's got the h-o-t-s for you, and only you. But she did tell me quite a tale!" the boys looked at him telling him to continue, Sesshomaru stayed quiet.

"Later," Bankotsu promised. They heard the clicking of shoes and turned around to see Kagome, Miroku, Inuyasha and Sango making their way towards the dwindling lunch line.

"You never called me last night, Kagome. If I didn't know any better I'd say you got a new best friend."

"No, just a hot new boy toy!"

Sango and Kagome giggled but soon stopped when they saw the lunch line was filled with Sesshomaru's friends. They quieted down and took up a spot on the line, talking quietly to themselves.

"Hey Inuyasha, how's it hanging?" Hiten asked while the other guys chuckled.

"Fuck off man." Was all Inuyasha said and his friends stared at him in apprehensively; he never really defended himself too well when it came to his brothers friends. A few curses here and there then a brawl would start, ending only when Sesshomaru told his friends to stop.

"How's Kikyou doing? She looked pretty good last night, isn't that right guys?" Hiten continued without remorse; he knew Inuyasha's weak spots: Kikyou and Kagome.

"I said get the fuck off my back! Kikyou wouldn't do shit with a bastard like you," Inuyasha had removed himself him the wall and was now standing in front of Hiten. Kagome couldn't ignore the warning signs; Inuyasha was ready to fight for Kikyou's honor. Kagome stepped behind Inuyasha and laid her hand upon his shoulder, gently but firmly.

"Inuyasha, you and I both know where Kikyou was last night. So let's just leave ok?" Inuyasha remained standing but his stance eased up.

"What ever," he then turned to Sesshomaru and Hiten.

"Tell your jack ass friends to leave my girl friend alone," was all he said to Sesshomaru. Kagome sighed, what was with Inuyasha today? He didn't always go picking fights and when he did it meant he was taking his feelings, usually anger, and turning it into something he could control.

"Little brother, I think it's fine time you stand up for yourself. Be a fucking man," Kagome's head snapped up to focus on Sesshomaru's face. He wasn't looking at anyone; he held his head high and stared ahead.

"I'm a better man than you!" Inuyasha whispered angrily, his fingers cracking as he squeezed his hands into a fist.

"The day you're a better man than me is the day when Bankotsu starts fucking guys," Sesshomaru used a controlled tone, warning his brother not to continue. Inuyasha smiled.

"Well according to Naraku's cousin Kagura I'm the better man," Kagura had let that slip to Kikyou and Kikyou had told him because well that's what girls do. Inuyasha had been saving that for three months, two weeks and a few days, he had wanted to say it sooner but knew he should hold onto that as a wild card maybe even black mail and he was glad he had waited, the look on his brother's face was priceless and Bankotsu looked more than pissed.

"You got to be shitting me!"Hiten stared at Bankotsu in speculation and disgust.

"Fuck off, I was drunk! You know that freak would have sex with anything!"

"But still! That is the sickest thing in the world," Jakotsu murmured then whispered,

"That bitch said I was special!" everyone looked at him in shock, wondering if he was kidding.

"Tell me you guys are fucking around. This shit isn't funny," Sesshomaru's tone spoke his anger. He didn't give a shit that Jakotsu may or may not have had man sex; he needed to know if Bankotsu had man sex, his honor was on the line; he would never be lower than his brother. His first born status proved that.

Bankotsu didn't answer and his silence only made Sesshomaru angrier. He turned to Inuyasha and gave him the once over, he looked like an idiot. He didn't represent the house hold he came from and that pissed Sesshomaru off more than anything else, that and the fact that he got to be around Kagome almost twenty four seven.

His eyes then floated her way but instead of blushing and turning her head like he hoped she would, she stared right at him with disappointment in her eyes. Sesshomaru sighed, showing his resignation, he then turned to his friends, nodded his head (telling them to follow) and walked past them without another word.

"Good job Inuyasha!" Sango patted his shoulder; he smiled at her and turned to Miroku.

"You don't know how long I've been saving that!" he grinned and looked over at Kagome who smiled when his eyes reached her form.

"Good job. I think I'll skip lunch, I have to finish something in the library," and with that she walked down the hall.

"See you in class Kagome!" Sango shouted out to her, Kagome waved without turning. Kagome sighed as she turned a corner. Maybe it was just her being silly but she thought Sesshomaru would be a little nicer to Inuyasha now that she and he were trying to become friends. But he did seem to a little bit more big brotherly; telling Inuyasha to be a man, though in her opinion that was harsh.

Plus he just let his friends say nasty things about Kikyou, who was so far from scandalous it was crazy! She rarely went out, she stayed to herself most of the time and she prayed all the time; she was so reserved and together Kagome wondered if she did normal things like shopping with friends or even sang in the shower! The only reason they even knew Kikyou was because Inuyasha had mistaken her for Kagome while in the library.

They weren't that much a like, not even in appearances. Kikyou looked older and more mature; which she was, and Kagome was more kid like and acted out when she felt like it. Kikyou was always together, where as Kagome was a bit more carefree; the only way to get them confused was to see them from behind.

Kagome shook her head in an effort to get rid of the thoughts, no longer was she jealous; she knew that for sure but sometimes she wished she could live Kikyou's life for a day and see how it is on the other side.

* * *

_She __threw the courier bag to her right, not looking away from him. She strode over to him with determination in her features; desire in her eyes.__She stopped in front of him, surveying him through her curly lashes; her lips cracked a dazzling smile._

_"How do you want this?"She asked and Sesshomaru reached out, daring to touch her and before he knew it he had her lips presses against his softly at first until she pressed harder, her tongue upon his lips and soon his mouth__. He groaned in pleasure and pulled away and smiled at him._

_"Miss me?" she asked, her nail __raked his chest leaving harsh red lines in their wake._

* * *

That's when Sesshomaru woke up… damn. He knew sex dreams where normal, especially for boys but he never enjoyed the waking up part. Apart from the dreams very pleasing it always left him with hard ass morning wood. He hated the thought of having to jerk off in the shower, it just wasn't his style; even if he was a virgin he tried to stray from masturbation. The fact was that he could have any girl he wanted, he just didn't want anyone, other than Kagome that is. 

It had been almost a week and he hadn't talk to Kagome once. He and the guys were giving each other their space; most were still freaked about Bankotsu and Naraku. Sesshomaru couldn't care less now, he was reluctant to admit it but he was somewhat lonely and wanted to talk to Kagome.

He was on his way to class that morning when he saw it, Bankotsu and Naraku hugging in a corner! His mind just couldn't handle it so it wasn't his fault when a gasp slipped from his lips. They quickly pulled apart in shock. Bankotsu was the first to speak.

"It's not what you think!" Sesshomaru merely shook his head and held up his hands.

"It's not my business—"

"But it really isn't how it looks, we were just putting our differences aside, see I had just punched Naraku—"

"I've had a long week, whatever you do is your business; just don't let it become public knowledge," here he stopped to give the pair the once over and promptly continued on his way to home room. He was going to pretend that never happened; he needed to focus on his own problems. Like how to get Kagome Higurashi to be his girl, Bankotsu and his shit could wait.

* * *

**A/N: Short and nothing really happened, so I'm very sorry about that. I've had this chapter, believe it or not, for about 2 months but it didnt feel finished but I think you guys have waited long enough. I'm not going back to school until friday so I'll another chapter up by then, I promise!**

**It keeps my moral up if you review, friendly advise is always welcomed. Please tell me what you think of this chapter because I'm not too fond of it.**

**Loves it,**

**Raceen.**

**12/30/07.**

**Ps. Merry X mas and HAPPY NEW YEAR. **


	5. It Makes Me Smile

_"Lost in a blinding hot shower of stars  
_

_My world has contracted to fit in your arms  
_

_Enveloped in you and I cannot be saved_

_As my heart leaps towards you, bound by its cage_

_I surrender myself in becoming complete." –Liz Stainton_

_x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x_

"You're skipping home room?" Bankotsu had ran after him and continued to try and explain, though Sesshomaru seriously couldn't give a damn.

"Listen just don't tell anyone and I'll keep your little secret safe, alright?' this made Sesshomaru turn his head to met Bankotsu's eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, Sam told me. I'm just wondering how Kagome was? Was she a freak? I always envisioned her as a sexually repressed, closet masochist or something." Bankotsu gave a small chuckle and then proceeded to walk ahead.

"So, I'm guessing we have a deal?" He twisted his head over his shoulder to look at a still Sesshomaru.

"It's not what you think..."

"Whatever you say man." And Bankotsu walked off leaving a somewhat pissed Sesshomaru.

_X0x0xx0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0xx0x0x0x0x0_

"I don't know who you've been telling or what the hell you've been telling them, but stop it. What happened was none of your fucking business and if you want to keep on my good side you'll do wise to shut your trap." Sesshomaru had cornered Sam at lunch time, everything Bankotsu had said was repeating through his head like a bad theme song, how dare this bitch spread rumors? And shit why did Bankotsu think he needed to fucking be black mailed to keep quiet, weren't they friends?

"Look, all I did was answer a question, last I heard that wasn't against the law." At this she leaned into body, raised her pointer ringer and started to caress his ear. Sesshomaru looked at her for a moment.

"It can be when you fucking say the wrong thing. If I get any shit for what you said you'll regret it." Here, with a glare, he reached onto her wrist and gently put them at her sides, no need for people to think he was abusing her. Sam got pissed, she looked around the hallway, everyone was eating so they were basically alone. She turned back to him and fixed him with a fierce glare.

"What happened with that girl? You seemed so into me, and after she came everything turned sour, can't we please start over–" here she took a breath and looked into his eyes and if he hadn't decided to pursue something with Kagome he would have thought she looked like a lonely puppy, a puppy he wanted to take home and never let go, but he's not really that sentimental anyways. So instead of saying anything nice he said this:

"look, I thought I wanted something and I thought I'd found it...in you but we all make mistakes. Now I'd like for you to stay out of my business, _or-fucking-else_."

And just like that he walked away, hoping he hadn't ruined a good thing, or what would have been a good thing; he was really praying he can think of a way to get Kagome. _And fast_. For now he was starving and he intended to sit down and enjoy a turkey sandwich.

_X0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0xx0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0_

He finally figured out how to talk to her and maybe get her to go on a date with him! He didnt know if it would work but it was sure worth a try. So ten minutes later he found himself in front of her door and pretty soon he was sweet talking her mom, joking with her brother and humoring her grandpa.

"Kagome! Visitor." Her mom yelled up the stairs and pretty soon she was descending down the stairs, he skirt bouncing and her bare feet causing creaks in the floor boards. She looked to see me and her smile faltered a bit.

"Hello Sesshomaru." her voice was low and he was hoping that was a good thing.

"Hi. I was just wondering if you wanted to walk with me to get some Ice Cream?" he soon realized the idea sounded so lame and transparent, oh well.

"Um, I don't know," she looked to her mom for help.

"Kagome it's fine if you want to go, just be back in an hour, please. And don't eat too much; I've made dinner." and Mrs. H went back into the kitchen. I smiled at her and looked to Kagome, she looked very unsure.

"Come on, you'll have fun I promise." and I walked outside and waited for her to get her shoes on.

"Bye mom!" she yelled as she closed the door softly.

"So," I was trying.

"Hmm." **She** apparently wasn't.

"Don't be mad at me." because I could tell she was.

"Why would I be mad, it's not like you don't humiliate your brother every other day, why should yesterday be any different?" We had reached the ends of those awful stairs and were walking down the street to find an ice cream vendor.

"Please don't be mad, I wanted today to be a good day. If you hadn't notice, I spent a good ten minutes working on this excuse to talk to you, lets not waste it by fighting." And I was so tempted to grab her hand and kiss her or anything romantic, and I probably would have if not for the look on her face. It was one of annoyance.

"Well, I just don't see why you have to make fun of someone, your brother no less. It really hurts his feeling," she was getting sad and teary eyed. So this time I did hold her hand. I looked into her eyes and I really wished I could kiss her but I knew she wouldn't have liked that. Slow and steady, I told myself.

"I'm sorry, please don't get upset, I didn't ever want for you to cry I know I do horrible things sometimes, but hey, isn't it enough that I don't do them to you?" She tugged her hands away and walked ahead while talking over he shoulder.

"It's so not enough, I don't want a bully for a friend."

"That's good, I don't want to be your friend," Her face feel, I silently congratulate myself.

"I want to be so much more, if you'd let me." I smirked at her blushing face.

"Why do you have to be so dirty?"

"Because I think you secretly like it, even fantasize about it, at least I hope you do. I hope you do** a lot**." And the urge to kiss her was too great. I glanced over my shoulder saw an Ice Cream Parlor.

"Come on, my treat." And we went in to get our ice cream.

"I really am sorry and I really do like you," I looked into her face and saw the hesitance.

"Do you not like me, like that?" I asked, feeling uneasy.

"I do...it's just, I wouldn't know if I was doing this because I felt sorry for you, or because I liked you." Here she bowed her head.

" What would it take for us to be together?" I asked, not caring how pathetic i sounded. When I pictured us getting together I'd thought there be a lot more scheming on my part but maybe the direct approach would be better.

"I don't know, stop picking on Inuyasha for one–" I rolled my eyes but was careful not to let her see.

"Anything else?" I smiled at her.

"...No...I guess not." She looked at her soft served. I grabbed her hand and squeezed a bit.

"Kagome, will you be my girlfriend?" When she nodded I boldly asked another question.

"Am I allowed to kiss you now? I've been dying to all day." Kagome nodded and Sesshomaru leaned over their Ice Creams and pressed his lips against hers. They had been enjoying kissing when a flash and the sound of a shutter stirred them out of their sweet kiss.

"Please, don't stop on my account! In fact it was just getting juicy, Sesshomaru, you got a little drool right there. SMILE FOR THE CAMERA!" They did anything but smile.

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**A/N: Sorry it's been soooo long but lets just say it like it was, I wasnt inspired and a break was a lot longer than I expected. I just pumped this out and I've forgotten where I'm going with this but I'll be more on top of it, I promise! .**

**Please review!**

**Oh ps, how come you don't get alerted anymore? I have gotten an alert in a while.**


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